I am who I am

I am not a joyful Christian. If you want to hang with someone who crows “Praise the Lord” at every happy moment, you’ll have to look elsewhere. I do know people like that—the cynic in me finds their behavior rather unauthentic, but I appreciate their energy.

Don’t get me wrong. I truly believe in and love God wholeheartedly. I remain forever grateful that He sent Jesus along so I would have the opportunity to live forever in heaven. I know that God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit lives in me to help me do good things and make the world a better place.
But I’m not cut out to be a cheerleader. Besides not having swingy hair and killer legs, I’m not capable of sustaining a sunny smile when in the face of difficulty. I can’t clap my hands and jump into splits when the odds are against me. (Not that I could do the splits anyway.)

Now, I know that God helps me through tough times – he has a proven track record of doing so – it’s just that my reaction to adversity is to grit my teeth, duck my head, and shoulder my way through it. And once I’ve made it through hard times, you won’t find me dancing in the streets, but gathering strength to face the next onslaught of darkness.

The writer of Psalm 95 encourages us to raise the roof: Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation (Psalm 95:1). Although I can carry a tune, I am a lot more comfortable with quiet praise and prayer in solitude. For me to shout “Hallelujah!” on a street corner—or even write flowery discourse on God’s goodness—would be inauthentic. It’s not who I am. And that’s okay. Like the true craftsman that He is, God has created each one of us a unique being with our own ways of doing things. 1 Corinthians 12:4 says There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. I understand that it’s okay for me to be praising God in the quiet of the morning while I’m still in my pajamas instead of wearing a microskirt and waving pom pons in front of a roaring crowd. I am who I am.

Having said that, in closing I want to share with you the words of a woman proclaiming the Good News in the face of adversity. A friend has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and she has accepted the responsibility of keeping friends and family updated with regards to treatment and progress. Not only does she do that task faithfully, she extols us to keep our faith in the midst of trials. She is a consummate cheerleader, sans Lycra. She is using a gift that she didn’t even know she had, because God called her to do it. Like that quote from 1 Corinthians above tells us: “There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.” She writes:

We are standing up to a situation that at times may seem hopeless yet we are trusting in something bigger than medicine and statistics. We have a God that made the world. His hands formed every piece of dust on it. When I begin to feel overwhelmed by this, I need to remember that God doesn't work the odds. He holds the universe in his palm. We are individually part of a much bigger plan. The little things we individually do each and every day to serve God add together with all other believers to build a world that makes a difference. God loves us enough to let us serve Him- to feel His presence on Earth. When I am feeling truly at peace, I believe that is God giving me a very very small taste of Heaven. That is the opportunity we have before us, my friends. He calls us to simply love another. That's all. Love. We are loving each other, supporting each other and praying for each other. We are sending a strong, clear message. We are making Satan a raging lunatic because we are turning to God in times of trial. We are running like we have never run before. We are yelling "BRING IT ON!!" We will get through this trial, and all trials, because we have love on our side. Love that came in the form of a tiny baby oh so long ago. We have blessings poured on our heads, and it will not stop anytime soon. Keep up the great work, and know that you are a blessing!

Amen, sister. Amen, reader. Know that you are a blessing as well.

“See, I Am Doing A New Thing!” (Isaiah 43:19)

Does the prospect of another new year excite you? Do you feel like you are awash with possibilities or inundated with problems?

Your perspective might hinge on how you view New Year’s resolutions. Our family’s New Year’s Day dinner always includes going around the table to make public our resolutions. Some are typical (“I’m going to lose 20 pounds”), unusual (“I’m going to learn karate”), and sweet (“I’m going to help my baby sister learn how to read”). Some I’ve heard for the last 5 years (“I’m going to clean out the garage”). To tell the truth, I can’t recall my resolution from last year – or anyone else’s.

To me, more than making a change for the better, a new year offers a welcome return to “normalcy” after the hectic holiday season. Sure, the Christmas decorations need to be take down and—sometimes—there’s snow to shovel, but January has always been a sort of hilltop experience for me. I actually made it through another year.

I know it’s not that way for everyone. Ringing in the New Year means we turn yet another corner into the unknown or uncertain future. It often is a stark reminder of how fast the years are going and how fleeting our lives really are. And, if we focus on all the resolutions we haven’t kept or we should be making, it can be a real downer.

Life coaches and advice columnists alike seem to think if we just write our resolutions down and keep them in a safe place to return to and reflect on throughout the year, we’ll have better luck in keeping them.

You know, that doesn’t work for me. More often than not, I forget to refer and reflect—then I feel guilty when I do find that piece of paper or that journal page with the “new rules” of life. And what do I do as a result of that guilt: I rebel by ditching the list or rationalizing why I didn’t follow up.

That didn’t work with the Law of the Old Testament, either. What did God find out after he gave the 10 Commandments to Moses? People didn’t breathe a sigh of relief that they had a set of rules to follow and a list of expectations to fall back on. No, they pretty much rebelled against all of the commandments or looked for loopholes. Make something off limits, and the more appeal it has.

Now, I’m not saying that resolutions are worthless and goals are bad—just our mindsets. So much is made of these new changes that we can forget how far we have come and the positive changes we’ve already made. And sometimes the idea of making the change is so daunting that we just give up on ourselves.

God didn’t give up on us. He realized that it was impossible for us to completely follow codes of behavior. He realized that the Law was not bringing human beings closer to Him; in fact, they had created a wall of separation. And He loved us so much that he found a better way. And that way was His Son Jesus.
Second Corinthians 5:17 reads “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” Only Jesus has the power to change us; we can’t do it alone.

The apostle Paul writes in the seventh chapter of Romans that the Spirit of God is let loose in our hearts: “Now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.”

Any positive change that is in line with God’s plan for your life is a matter of letting go of your self-condemnation and letting in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. No matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done: that is one resolution that anyone can keep.