so hard to trust

It's inevitable: your child reaches a certain age and decides that Mom is not as powerful, knowledgable or even as funny as he/she once imagined. In fact (as witnessed by said child), sometimes Mom loses things, gets lost herself, and forgets critical items ("Mom, you forgot to buy Kookie Cookie Crumble cereal AGAIN?!!!!").

Let's not even get into the ever-widening gap between what makes Mom laugh and what the child considers humorous.

And this is the time period before the teen years, when Mom loses all credibility. Some kids reach this stage at around 9 or 10; my 6-year-old is already exhibiting the stage-related mannerisms surely learned from listening to her older sister ("Mom, PLEASE don't forget to give me my allowance AGAIN like you did last week!!!") At least she said "please."

One day, the three of us got into an argument about who had their facts straight about what day of the week it was, and I began to get just a little ticked off. I wanted to yell at them I'm the adult here, I think I know what day it is and why can't you just believe me!!!! and stamp my foot to prove my point.

Then it hit me: this is part of who we are as human beings. We think we know it all. And in general, we don't trust that anyone else knows as much as we do.

Even omnipotent, omnipresent, infallible God.

When my 6-year-old queries from the back seat as I drive her to her friend's house: "Mom, do you know where you're going?" I think of my own questions to God: Do you know what you are doing? Do you know where you're taking me?

When my older daughter is nodding and avoiding eye contact during my earnest attempts to take advantage of a "teaching moment," I think of how how quickly I focus on the injustice of a situation and brush off God's attempts to reach out to me.

It's who we are, especially in this country: we automatically mistrust authority, sure that the person in charge really doesn't know what he/she is talking about.

Today's question: How has God used suffering to wake you up spiritually?

I think the most important word in this question is "used," as in Jesus teaches us that God uses suffering, he does not cause it. If we persist in believing that the trials of life are delivered by God to create teachable moments, then he takes on the image of a sadistic professor intent on our misery.

Even devoted students would be discouraged by a professor who teaches simply for knowledge's sake.

No, our suffering comes from living in a fallen world shaped by the words and deeds of sinners. It comes from the reality of disease, the unavoidability of accidents, the inevitably of death. If we persist in believing that God causes these things to happen, there is no hope. If God doesn't use our suffering for good, then we are simply left with despair.

God loves us too much for that.

So, as for me, how has God used suffering to wake me up spiritually?

• He has used physical pain to inspire me to take better care of myself.
• He has used tragedy to keep me mindful of my blessings.
• He has used struggles in personal relationships to lead me to better myself.

These are just a few points -- I'm sure I can think of more. Especially right now, with stores closing, people unemployed, our health care system up in the air, our international relations tenous, he is teaching me to trust in him.

The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1